fuck that shit (a christmas story)

kat's korner

so this is definatly the strangest christmas eve I have ever had. Last night big christmas party blah blah today i was looking forward to because as I have mentioned, Christmas Eve is my favorite day of the year. Actually I was particularly looking forward to this one since my life has been shit for the last few months and I thought I could find something redeeming in Christmas.

Doesn't matter. so this morning i woke up to my phone ringing, but i was so tired so i just rolled over but then i got up and called my mom back and it boils down to this: Christmas Eve at the hospital my dad yeah. i don't know. i think he should be fine and come home tomorrow, they don't know what's wrong with him though, staying overnight, can't write complete sentences, this year must end.

so now here comes some major self pity me alone here at 11 on christmas eve my poor mother exhausted asleep alone in her room, my brother alone in his apartment downtown, and my dad alone at the hospital. I just don't understand when life started having to suck all the time. you know? I think there just should be some days reserved that don't totally fucking suck. and you know it makes me feel bad complaining about it because you know there are much worse situations that could happen but i think it was just when these bad things start to accumulate.

I really want to go for a drive or to a mass or something just get out of this freaking house, but I don't want my mom to wake up and freak out as she undoubtedly would.

So now I'm torn between my options for the rest of the night:

1. take a shower or bath
2. watch scrooged whilst being comforted by a screwdriver
3. go for a drive (obviously not after option 2)
4. pick the rest of the split ends out of my hair
5. Watch its a wonderful life with screwdriver


So this is christmas
And what have you done
Another year over
A new one just begun

So this is christmas
I hope you have fun
The near and the dear ones
The old and the young

And so this is christmas
For weak and for strong
For rich and for poor ones
The road is so long

And so happy christmas
Anda happy new year
Lets hope it’s a good one
Without any fear

War is over
If you want it
War is over now

So this is christmas
For black and for white
For yellow and red ones
Lets all stop the fight