ole rocking chair will get me

i'm no fan of mondays. i had a french presentation this morning. i had to go first, which was fine with me. Ever since I found out that I just have to get a D to graduate I care a lot less, so I barely prepared. The results were disasterous, but I tried to make it a joke. which seems more depressing in retrospect, haha but doesn't it always? fuck the french(unless they'd like that, which of course they would)

I've been listening to stormy weather on repeat for the last hour, and i must say that I don't think i'll ever get sick of it. i don't really sleep anymore. or not to speak of. I like this apartment, but there's just something about it or me or some combination thereof that makes things go wrong.

I'm wearing my favorite socks. They're argyle knee socks in shades of burgundy, navy blue, and gray very dignified especially when worn in combination with my favorite purple short shorts.

Did I mention I quit the baby's room? Well yes i did. I mean I didn't do a good job quitting. I think they think I'm coming back, and I feel like I'm going back. But I should quit. I'm graduating, its been 4 and a half years, that's long enough.

I'm going to the mountains this weekend for my grandfather's 80th birthday with the family, then next week I'm helping my brother move up to new haven, ct. I'll miss him, but I'm excited to get out of this city for a couple of days and see Ms. Bitchface NYC.

I just don't sleep, whatever I get seems like a fucking cat nap. And its driving me mad, simply mad. I have to start dressing like Judy Garland. Must go on diet, then start dressing like judy garland because no one likes a fat judy.

I don't know what to do about anything-- everything seems in flux, but not positively like I'm sitting on a fucking barrel and the monkeys are trying to fly out but I'm sitting indian style on the top of that fucking barrel. I am just not sure. I like a plan, but I have none.

my tv should be taken away.

there are a lot of depressing shows on tv. intervention, law and order: svu, specials about puppy mills.

but there's nothing sadder than Last Comic Standing. i've never seen a group of people trying SOO hard, and for so little pay off. I don't know if it's all their fault, I mean I blame nbc and Jay Mohr because lord knows their assholes but jeez. a black dude dressing up as a pimp, white fat dudes dressing up as women, women dressing up as butch lesbians-- who woulda thunk it? I mean if i had any control at all over myself I would just stop watching it, but I CANT. I CANT stop watching this piece of shit. I mean you can just see the sadness in these people's eyes all panicking to make the 12th short bus joke in a row.

Because some of them might be funny, or might not be THAT bad of a comic, but jeez put in a closet full of "wacky" costumes and it will make you wonder if you will ever laugh again.

The only way they could redeem this shit ass show is to turn it into a VH1 reality show and just get them all really horny and drunk.