i just decided to pick this up again.

yeah. it's been a long 9 months.

I was right about that apartment! It turns out it was poisoning me quite literally, so I had to vacate to preserve my health. After a few months in flux, i'm happily enough living in Buckhead with Holly and Megan. But tonight I can't sleep. Well I suppose it's morning, actually the sun might have already have come up. Maybe I'll open the shade.

I love the apartment, but I have no job. Well I had a job working at River Heights. However, they expected me to work overtime and then refused to pay me. Also they were huge assholes. So job over. I have to admit, I have enjoyed my life of leisure, but must admit that I need to get a job pretty soon. It really doesn't matter because the economy is so bad that my feelings on getting a job or not become irrelevant.

I still work at the baby's room every now and again despite having quit several times in the last 5 years. They are too good to me, and for that I am eternally grateful.

I've been on several disastrous dates since we last spoke.

And I've been on some pleasant ones.

i have to try to sleep.

ole rocking chair will get me

i'm no fan of mondays. i had a french presentation this morning. i had to go first, which was fine with me. Ever since I found out that I just have to get a D to graduate I care a lot less, so I barely prepared. The results were disasterous, but I tried to make it a joke. which seems more depressing in retrospect, haha but doesn't it always? fuck the french(unless they'd like that, which of course they would)

I've been listening to stormy weather on repeat for the last hour, and i must say that I don't think i'll ever get sick of it. i don't really sleep anymore. or not to speak of. I like this apartment, but there's just something about it or me or some combination thereof that makes things go wrong.

I'm wearing my favorite socks. They're argyle knee socks in shades of burgundy, navy blue, and gray very dignified especially when worn in combination with my favorite purple short shorts.

Did I mention I quit the baby's room? Well yes i did. I mean I didn't do a good job quitting. I think they think I'm coming back, and I feel like I'm going back. But I should quit. I'm graduating, its been 4 and a half years, that's long enough.

I'm going to the mountains this weekend for my grandfather's 80th birthday with the family, then next week I'm helping my brother move up to new haven, ct. I'll miss him, but I'm excited to get out of this city for a couple of days and see Ms. Bitchface NYC.

I just don't sleep, whatever I get seems like a fucking cat nap. And its driving me mad, simply mad. I have to start dressing like Judy Garland. Must go on diet, then start dressing like judy garland because no one likes a fat judy.

I don't know what to do about anything-- everything seems in flux, but not positively like I'm sitting on a fucking barrel and the monkeys are trying to fly out but I'm sitting indian style on the top of that fucking barrel. I am just not sure. I like a plan, but I have none.

my tv should be taken away.

there are a lot of depressing shows on tv. intervention, law and order: svu, specials about puppy mills.

but there's nothing sadder than Last Comic Standing. i've never seen a group of people trying SOO hard, and for so little pay off. I don't know if it's all their fault, I mean I blame nbc and Jay Mohr because lord knows their assholes but jeez. a black dude dressing up as a pimp, white fat dudes dressing up as women, women dressing up as butch lesbians-- who woulda thunk it? I mean if i had any control at all over myself I would just stop watching it, but I CANT. I CANT stop watching this piece of shit. I mean you can just see the sadness in these people's eyes all panicking to make the 12th short bus joke in a row.

Because some of them might be funny, or might not be THAT bad of a comic, but jeez put in a closet full of "wacky" costumes and it will make you wonder if you will ever laugh again.

The only way they could redeem this shit ass show is to turn it into a VH1 reality show and just get them all really horny and drunk.

shit storm monday

hmm.. i went to paris. if you know me I'm sure I already told you what an amazing trip i had. fin.

on to more pressing matters. Today sucked. Today makes me want to cry, and I don't cry.
Things that went wrong today:
1. I forgot to mail some books i sold on half
2. the dvd someone mailed me was broken
3. they aren't giving me my whole deposit back on my old apartment for something i didn't do
4. the ikea dresser i bought was scratched when i took it out of the box
5. they can't set up internet/cable until thursday
6. my computer broke-- it wont turn on
6b. i never backed up anything on my computer like i meant to do
7. they messed up my mail, so i don't get any ever
8. they sent my stimulus check back to the irs
9. i'm using the internet at the library
10. there was an error and part of this got erased.
11. i have to read 3 articles and do a response for class tomorrow-- its all online
11b. the articles are too long to print, and they're sideways so I can't read them online
11c. there's a time limit for computer usage at the library
12. they aren't letting me graduate until december even though i have all my credits
12b. the person i need to talk to is on vacation this week
13. my dad hung up on me.
14. i have to do the dishes
15. i haven't unloaded my car
16. its going to rain and i walked here
17. the guy next to me smells like cheese.
18. barack obama wont stop emailing me.
19. the faucet in the shower burns my hand when I try to get out.
20. i can't stop complaining.

Well that's it folks. now maybe since I wrote it down I can stop obsessing over it. I have been strangely happy all day despite the progressively worsening parade of shit gone wrong. that's it i'm going to get drunk.

i'm headed towards the city of light!

so this time tomorrow I'll be in paris. it'll be 5:25 and I'll be on a boat ride on the river seine! what?!!!

So tonight was nice I went to brickstore with some of my brother's friends, and it was pleasant. The older I am the more I like beer I suppose. I'm almost finished packing.

Maybe I'll try to do some blogging from france, but probably not. I just remembered! I have to do research for my presentation on the centre pompidou!! uhhh oopss. haha whatever i'll figure it out. it's a building get it? its guts are on the outside like that commercial on nickelodeon in the 90s. it holds modern art, dunce.

I'm really tired and I'm watching an oprah about polygamy and i have to go to the doctor's office in the morning at 9am and my legs are numb.

hahahahahaha aux champs elysees!!

me if i were a baby.

p.s. i just finished my last paper. WOOOO HOOOO

I'd give the world to be

the week that extended between the last and the present was miserable. So here's hoping for a better one this week. I had these back spasms, and so I've been alternating between insane righteous anger and muscle relaxed me-not care anymorey.

and to answer last week's question (that no one but me cared about): I have to take 5 more sociology classes, so I'll be at school forever*. But i wont be there this semester because its over. Except for one damn paper on the vulgar tracey emin. I knew you'd click if I told you she was vulgar and she is.

and I also found out that I can't move until the end of june, which i happened to find out at the height of my back pain and pre-muscle relaxers. so it went a little something like this:

(smashing leasing office door open)
Kat: (step)wince. (step) ahh. (holding hastily torn piece of paper)
leasing lady: (sheepishly)can i help you?
K: i just got this letter (sniffle)
L:yes?
K: (holding back) and now I can't move and I have to pay more money?
L: (looking around nervously)it's ok.
K: BUT MY BACK HURTS, AND I CANT AFFORD MORE MONEY AND I DONT KNOW WHERE IM MOVING, AND I DONT KNOW WHEN IM GRADUATING AND MY BACK REALLY FUCKING HURTS.
L: i'M SORRY.

so oops! now my leasing office thinks i'm crazy which could go either way frankly. So hopefully it will all work out because most things do and i think all this back pain is due to stress.

but here are 3 uppers:
1. hair dying apt. tomorrow!
2. new orleans this weekend!
3. these $4 flowers i bought from trader joe's have lived for over 2 weeks, or maybe i can't tell when they're dead. anyway please find a picture below.



i need a fun send off line. options:

"poops in your face"
"SAMO"- from basquiat look it up (it's an Art History post!!!)
"If you were my lady"
"easy"-- that's charles manson's sign off

so you can vote or suggest your own. and if no one does it'll make me cry. wah wah.

*but i'll still graduate at the end of the summer.