mary jo shively impersonators need not apply

so today I was walking to class and I was stopped by these people with cameras they asked me to say "you're watching WMAC.Tv" and then answer some questions. of course I was psyched because I'm retarded and had just been thinking on this very walk that I love to answer questions and should be featured on a quiz show. What a coincidence. I swear I'm turning into Jean Teasdale. So anyway.

so the woman holds up a poster board with 8 pictures on it and asks me to identify them. the first one was ohh tupac but I couldn't pronounce his last name. thanks ryan ramseur. then it was like Jesus Christ and MLK and Malcolm X and Bill Gates. I was going 7/7 so I get to the last one and I was like black Jesus? they got really pissed. so oops.

haha.

now I wished I had given completely wrong answers like answered all serial killers names or something else to make me seem like off the wall racist. i like to give the people what they want.

you can see it by going to www.wmac.tv which is worth the visit. It's hilarious. Please tune into the interview with a crack head tonight at 9.

then I go to class and it turns out I came to class an hour early. so oops.

Questions:
1. If you were a designing women character who would you be?
2. If you had to wear glasses for the rest of your life or have a really unflattering haircut which would you choose?
3. if you could only listen to one song for the rest of your life and it had to be in the country western genre which would you choose?
4. Would you rather be at the dentist's office or the gynecologists?
5. Kill, boff, marry: donald trump, larry king, george bush

ps. i watched sarah silverman this morning. that could explain a lot.

the silver jews as i live and breathe.

Today, well just now i was talking to my good friend bitchface abrams.

and she told me that this guy she works with drummed on the silver jews album, American Water.

and i crapped my pants. well not literally that's gross and I'm wearing a skirt, but you know I am wearing my silver jews tshirt so it was just a huge happy coincidence.

5 favorite tshirts:
1. free winona
2. silver jews pink with birds of peace
3. fiery furnaces candleabra
4. dolly parton
5. golden girls tshirt

i think i'll go to the doctor tomorrow. I've been meaning to go the past few years/months, but I don't really have a steady doctor, and it's kind of a pain in the ass. so I never have. perhaps saying that in a quasi public forum is just the impetus I need to go. perhaps.

Once I was hanging out at Mary's house and there was something wrong with her eye which Donna diagnosed as a sty and boiled an egg to hold up to it. i never really followed up on the whole situation but i can only assume the remedy worked.

and now I really want to boil an egg (to eat).

yesterday there was this marathon and it ran past my apartment to wake me up and then it wouldn't let me get on marta, and then when I did get on marta it smelled really bad like suburban sweat.

how much can i love one sitcom?

Ok so now I have to go to Chicago to visit this statue. You can sit on Bob Newhart's couch and pretend to talk to him! AAAAHHHH. This is going to be my permanent facebook picture.

Anyway so today is tuesday. Last night I took a really great long nap. and then a really great long sleep.

Ms. Mary's in town so I'm going to see her, which is awesome.

Tomorrow is my mother's birthday so I have to figure out something to get her, which I feel like is getting harder and harder every holiday. I wish she liked spas.

In more serious news yesterday was the four year anniversary of the beginning of the war in Iraq. 4 years later:

3,197 US soldiers dead (estimate provided by the pentagon)

60,000 Iraqi civilians dead (estimate provided by London Iraq body count)

and no end in sight.

oh wait I see a light among the trees.

the miracle of the missing marta card

yesterday i walked up to marta and swiped my monthly pass and the machine reader was all "Already expired" and I was all "like fuck it is." But then I looked down and it was February's Marta pass, which had already expired which led to the inevitable where's March?

Well I had no idea. I hadn't actually seen march since the March 1st BSP (before spring break). So then I went home and tore my apartment apart looking for this goddamned card. I gave up after a few hours of searching and took an angry nap.

When I awoke I looked in the last place I had seen any of my clothes the dryer and low and behold there it was my beautiful marta monthly pass stuck to the side of the dryer.

Never have I been as happy as I was this morning to smell the stench of dried urine on the train.

i'd like to give the world a chicken biscuit

so spring break is over huh? hmm... I feel like I shouldn't have to go back to school.

I went to new york and stayed with the one and only bitchface abrams. It was a really nice trip and the museum of modern art is officially my favorite place in the world. if only i could live there.

today I threw away my invisalign tray with my moe's tray liner. oops. expensive expensive mistake. I'm getting a new set on thursday so you know ok sounds good. flashbacks of the parenthood.

i don't have much to say lately.

last week I made this really good dinner. it involved:

one half box of wheat noodles
steamed spinach
can of cream of brocoli soup
tomato chopped
one half onion chopped
garlic crushed
can of tuna
salt and pepper accordingly
cheese if desired

mix it all up and bake until you get really hungry at 350.

it was really good. and I don't feel like it was horrendously bad for you.

maybe I'll hardboil an egg like ramona. oh ramona.

If I invented grapenuts I'd kill myself too.